How to Recharge After Break-Up

How Affairs Usually Start

I always watching Richard and Maricar Poon’s VLOG which is Relationship Matters and one of the books they are recommending is “His Needs, Her Needs” by WILLARD F. HARLEY, JR. That’s also the moment when I became interested in reading it. If you haven’t watched their vlog, I suggest that you do so and also read the book they are recommending. “His Needs, Her Needs” by WILLARD F. HARLEY, JR. will help you not only in your romantic relationship but also for singles who are ready to have a relationship.

In the past few months, my feeds were filled up of bitter status that their loved ones cheated on them. I do not know if I just have a lot of bitter friends who’s motto is #walangforever or the world is just filled with this stuff. Anyway, let me share you what’s in the book about an affair and how to deal with that next time,


How Affairs Usually Start

“An affair usually begins as a friendship. Your spouse may know the person who eventually becomes your lover as the husband or wife in a couple you consider “best friends.” Or your lover may be someone you have met at work, church, or a community function. Conversation draws you together. At first, you talk about various topics of interest, but over time you begin to share personal problems with each other. As you spend more time together, you discuss more intimate problems, and eventually, the problems you discuss reflect unmet emotional needs. As your friendship deepens, you start giving each other mutual support and encouragement, especially in regard to your unmet needs. Life is difficult. Many people become incredibly disillusioned about the way their lives are turning out. When they find someone encouraging and supportive, the attraction toward that person acts as a powerful magnet. Sooner or later, you find yourself in bed with your encouraging and supportive friend. It just seems to “happen.” You don’t intend to do it, and neither does your friend. Very often the friendship that grows into an affair is very illogical. A wife will get a look at her husband’s lover and exclaim, “How in the world could he be interested in her?” When a husband discovers his wife’s lover, he wonders, “What could she be thinking?”

-from His Needs, Her Needs” by WILLARD F. HARLEY, JR

One of my belief is that your boyfriend or spouse should not have no any other “girl best friend” except to his wife or girlfriend or vise versa, your girlfriend or wife should not have any other “boy best friend” except you. I know many would not agree to me and might say,

  1.  We are best friends already before you came
  2. This is just a talk and nothing physical.

I see the point that you might know your “girl best friend or boy best friend first” but things are different when you are already committed. If you want to seek an advice, talk to a couple who that encountered the same problems as yours like your parents, tita’s and titos. Do not get me wrong, its really okay to have friends in an opposite sex, but if you will have a best friend in an opposite sex, that should be your spouse or your partner. Deep conversation should be within your relationship.

We are all humans, and all of us made mistakes, but if we can avoid it from the very start,  let’s do it.  It’s like having rotten tomatoes on a pile of fresh tomatoes. Get rid of the rotten tomatoes at the very start of your relationship.

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